There I was just sitting in Urth Cafe in Los Angeles finishing up an essay called, “Forgive Me Father for I have Sinned—Oy”, chronicling yet another humiliating sexcapade in my life, and drinking a non-fat cappuccino, feeling smartish, funnyish, and not as hard on the eyesish as I usually doish, when I looked up and […]
There is an unspoken shit etiquette, shitiquette if you will, among us —dump on your own turf or a public facility; not in a place where your scent tracks will come back to haunt you. One evening, my dependable spigot with the prostate of a teenager evaporated into a geriatric piddle. I called my apartment […]
I am the oldest of five siblings, one sister and three brothers. My parents are divorced; my dad remarried over twenty-years ago. My mother has been with her hubbyish for seven-years. My brothers grew up with my father and my step-mother while my mother raised the goils. We are the type of family that genuinely […]
My abortion, Pippa, and I are really close. Really, we are. She’s not homesick in the slightest. For an ethereal aberration who communicates via text message and telepathy, I must admit, she surprised me with her fast-talking, deadpan, assertive personality and wild history. Neither of us expected to share my womb for nine months. I […]
We’ve established that I have creepy neighbors (hello archives). It should come as no surprise that I’m in a window war with the broad off of my kitchen window, and it is so much fun. This morning, while I was typing away, minding my own business, she decided to open her blinds and her window. […]
I want to shake you into my awareness; piercing voice coming at you like a missile, until you open your eyes and see me standing before you exposed and naked. God! The view from your mighty, all-powerful throne must be so crystal fucking clear. Never is understanding your aim Over and over, you shroud me […]
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work… I want to achieve it through not dying.” — Woody Allen Deathy jokes are the norm in my family: “One foot on the peel.” “S/he’s tagged and bagged; does s/he really need a box, too?” “Go into the light; it’s free.” “Who dies on a Wednesday?” […]