If I Had Testicles
I would Play with them all day regardless of who was watching, my hand would spend so much time in my pants, I’d have to charge it rent I’d treat them like marbles and ping-pong balls I’d play with them in front of old ladies I’d sit in restaurants spread eagle and watch people’s reactions […]
A Guy For A Thing
Whether I’m in a conversation or happen to be eavesdropping, a favorite past time. If done correctly, it’s exceptional cardio. I’ve leaned so far that I’ve fallen out of chairse stretching my legs, neck and arms enough to pull muscles. I have noticed that everyone has a guy for a thing, whatever that thing is, […]
Katie Schwartz, Please Answer My Lame Ass Questionnaire
I was born Katie Schwartz. I know there others out there, thanks to Google and not being retarded. For years, I have been dying to talk to other Katie Schwartz’s to find out if we have any commonalities. I’m curious, okay?! Don’t you wonder if people who share your name also share your likes and […]
Maybe in My Next Life
If you’ve been following my twitter stream, you know about the break in. If not, keep reading. Let me begin by saying, you know you’re an addict when You wake up at 4 AM and realize you’re out of fucking coffee. Your mind feverishly races. You curse yourself and everything else out. The desperation to […]
Be Positive!
As we’ve discussed, blogs are one-part confessional and another part… well, whatever we want them to be, right? This would be the one-part confessional. 7-days into 2010, is akin to having my head shoved up geriatric, hemorrhoid addled, musty smelling rectums. Like a famished dog, I’m waiting for the moment when embracing the New Year […]