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  1. The Corpses of Children are not Peaceful

    January 13, 2012 by Katie Schwartz

    The corpses of children are not peaceful.

    The ones who die of trauma before their time show it

    –of illness show it

    I avert my eyes but remember anyway

    Precious young lives lost–

    I can’t say this anywhere so I’ll say it here in a public privacy of strangers

    The corpses of children are not peaceful.

    Cancer at 8

    Murder at 9

    Murder at 2

    Refusing insulin at 14

    Horrible car accident at 17

    The corpses of children are not peaceful.

    I avert my eyes but cannot forget

    The anger, the pain the battering

    On their sweet innocence

    The corpses of children are not peaceful.

    — Anonymous

    A very dear friend of mine wrote this poem and I felt compelled to share it. This left an indelible imprint.

     

     

     


  2. The Green Thing

    December 2, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

    I got this from my fadda and wanted to share, even though it might be super viral. Who knew viral would be a good thing?

    Somewhere we wandered off the right direction….

    In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

    The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”

    The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.”

    He was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

    Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

    We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

    Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

    Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

    We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

    Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

    The original greenies

     


  3. ‘SNL’ Mocks Kim Kardashian’s ‘Fairy Tale’ Divorce (VIDEO)

    November 6, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

     

    FUCKING HILARIOUS.


  4. Neil Diamond & Barbara Streisand, You Don’t Bring Me Flowers

    October 26, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

    I’ve died and gone to camp heaven. She strokes the side of his face and he kisses her hand. FAB.


  5. Barbara Streisand & Barry Gibb What Kind Of Fool

    October 26, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

    When Baaaahbra’s fingers slowly escape Barry’s, please, it just don’t get better.


  6. Sobriety Never Pays

    October 6, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

    Winston Distillery is on the precipice of losing everything. The CEO, Tom and two remaining sales reps, Dick and Harry have a brainstorming session that ends in disaster.

    Written by: Katie Schwartz

    Directed by: Brad Lavery

    Produced by: Adam Franklin

    Cinematography by: Tony Stockert

    Starring!!! Stirling Gardner, Jonathan Nail and Jimmy Doyle


     

    Sobriety Never Pays made it to the Homepage of Funny or Die. Thanks FOD, we heart you so much.

    Sobriety Never Pays – Made it to the “Most Favorited of the Week” on Funny or Die! Thank you all so much for your incredible support.  

    Thank you, Crooks and Liars for and “Mike’s Blog Round Up” for sharing “Sobriety Never Pays.” Thanks for all the support, Mock Paper Scissors / Tengrain


  7. Onward and Upward?

    October 1, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

    Tonight, I had the unfortunate, fortunate? experience of driving through Beverly Hills. As I watched hundreds of folks dressed in expensive clothes, eating and spilling out of restaurants, and into their overpriced cars, I wondered how many of them cared about the 99%.

    There is nothing wrong with having money. In fact, I think financial freedom is a tremendous gift. I hope they appreciate their financial freedom and remember that, perhaps, for most, the “American dream” made it possible. I hope they are part of the movement that is willing to pay higher taxes.

    Speaking for myself, I’m equal parts terrified and proud of Americans protesting. Terrified because it marks a new beginning in aggressive social change. What will that mean? Will we be successful? Will the great divide between the rich and poor find a bridge? Will the middle class be reborn? Though, I wasn’t part of the 60s generation that protested for civil rights and equality, etc., I would have been. So, of course, joining the movement is of great importance to me.

    When I see videos and pictures of extremely successful individuals participating, I am deeply moved and grateful. What an enriching reminder that we, the 99% aren’t fighting this alone. There are so many wealthy people on our side, willing to pay higher taxes. That is amazing.

    I’ve been tweeting about how and where to get involved and wanted to write a post about it.

    Check out:

    Occupy Together is a hub for all states and cities across the United States where people are staging protests and actively protesting. I would encourage everyone to get involved, whether you’re part of the 99% or not, we all deserve a shot at the American dream, health insurance, financial and job opportunities, and so much more. Think of future generations, and try to imagine America even more divided. Pretty scary. I imagine a huge increase in crime, homelessness, death and sadness, among other things.

    Please scroll your mouse over “Events,” for cities/States in the US and, and, and internationally.

    PROTEST PEACEFULLY AND ASSERTIVELY. The mainstream press is marginalizing the 99%, but thousands of journalism blogs and activism websites are covering it.

    PS: I know this is a hocky hockarella post. I think it’s worth it.