After perusing a list of fetishes, anything from amputation, to insects crawling through and around one’s genitalia, necrophilia, and furies, among others, it all seemed so banal. What fetishfest would be complete without comes with tchoch?! Not that I’m a fetishxpert.
I just think the fetish community might want to consider some new fetishes to add to the list. So, I decided to suggest a few.
- Allergies – Embrace a dame with a penchant for repetitious sneezing at the most inopportune times. Though she’ll tank in the blowjob department during a sneeze-fest, why can’t snot be hot?
- Harkin’ and Shmarkin – An addendum to the allergy fetish, to include, but not limited to, belching and farting. Note: This is not a feces crossover. If a girl’s belches and farts carry a tune, and if you’re a musician, this could really help in the creative department. You can whip out some snazzy classical tunes, and thank her with a with a burp-fart-infused-Bach fuck.
- Politics – Engaging sexually with someone who doesn’t share your political views leads to hostile, aggressive sex. Filthy language can include: BP is a pack of mother fucking liars that lack any sense of responsibility for their actions. Or, if you actually believe Sarah Palin has a positive impact on this country, women’s rights, and is intelligent, masturbate in a corner wearing a dunce cap.
- The Happy Homo Fetish – If you’re attracted to him, of course he’s gay. If you’re not, give him your number, even if he does resemble Quasimodo, and has the brains of an Alaskan sea fisherman.
What are your fetishes? Come on, don’t be shy…
