I would
- Play with them all day regardless of who was watching, my hand would spend so much time in my pants, I’d have to charge it rent
- I’d treat them like marbles and ping-pong balls
- I’d play with them in front of old ladies
- I’d sit in restaurants spread eagle and watch people’s reactions while I was sack-plunging
- I’d unzip my pants and let them hang out every so often for fresh air and a spot of color (always in search of a vitamin D boost)
- I’d nickname them, something manly like Jimmy the butcher and Vinny the neck:
- I’d give them literary nicknames like Bukowski and Vonnegut
