Trump ‘knows words and has the best words.’ He’s charismatic, charming and takes your breath away. Seeing him in person, you feel a bit swoony and taken aback. His big, booming personality and signature scowl makes you feel equal parts grateful that you showed up, titillated and nervous about what he might say about you. But you showed up, you proved your loyalty and that matters to you.
Because of this, you also feel protective of him. It’s not that you’re making excuses for his racism, bad behavior, and crackpot conspiracy theories because that is NOT who you are. No way would you stand for that shit. You’re educated, wise, and more than capable of making decisions for yourself!
When Trump barks in a measured, yet assertive tone, “Can you imagine how badly I’ll feel if I spent all of that money, all of this energy, all of this time, and lost? I will never, ever forgive the people of Connecticut. I will never forgive the people of Florida and Pennsylvania and Ohio, but I love them anyway. We’ll see. I think we’re gonna do very well.”
Your worst fears have just come to fruition. In your eyes, he’s made himself vulnerable. You feel beholden to him. No part of you can let him down, not after he just said that! The very idea of it is so terrifying, you feel rattled to the core. You think to yourself, no matter what, I’m going to vote for you, Trump.
You continue rationalizing his behavior, “oh, he’s just kidding.” “Maybe women are fat pigs and slobs.” “I guess there are too many Mexicans in this country. “Perhaps Muslims are dangerous. Look at all the bad things they’ve done to Americans.” “Why should we keep the peace with other countries?!” “He’s right. We have nuclear weapons, let’s use them.” “President Obama is the Founder of ISIS and he wasn’t born in the U.S.A.” “Hillary Clinton is a disaster and a liar.” “Trump didn’t attack a judge, he merely pointed out the conflict of interest regarding Trump University’s lawsuit and Judge Curiel’s Mexican heritage. Trump’s building a wall, so he can’t be impartial.” And on, and on, and on.
You chase the highs of Trump’s praise and will do anything to avoid being reprimanded by him.
I have terrible news for you, you are in love with a narcissist, an entirely different species. Unfortunately, no matter how much love you shower him with love, it will never be enough. Speaking from experience, I understand the depth of your love and abject terror of betraying him. I know what it feels like to gloss over his actions and rationalize them in your psyche as normal, when all evidence is to the contrary. I know that his charm washes away the horrible things he’s said and done. Even though there are a thousand people at this rally, he’s speaking to me, you know it! That fills you with warmth and acceptance. You’ll do anything to hear it and protect it because it signifies love and connection.
Here’s the cold hard truth, you have to break-up with him. He’s a narcissist, he’s not running for you, he’s running for himself. His tax proposals benefit him and his corporations. He’s spending donor’s hard earned money on his own companies, and increased the rent of his campaign headquarters, Trump Towers. Remember he said that he would fund his campaign? He’s not doing that. He praises dictators and invites them to corrupt our elections. He wants to start a war. He wants to limit Freedom of Speech. He hates women. He hates people of color. He hates Muslims. He wants to deport an entire religion from the United States and not let them enter the U.S., unless they pass his ideological test. He wants to deport 11 million Mexicans. He’s anti-Semitic. He wants to usurp the Constitution of the United States, among other things.
I know this is painful to hear, but he represents the worst of America, not the best. All of this is horrifying and doesn’t represent the America we know and love. I beg you to please read this article from Rolling Stone about Trump and learn who Trump really is.
We are a country created by immigrants. This was never a white country.
Be brave! Break-up with the narcissist. I know it’s unfathomable. I know it’s terrifying. Who will you be without him? What does life even look like without him in your life? How will you survive? I GET IT. I FEEL YOUR PAIN ON A VERY PERSONAL LEVEL. I promise, you will come out the other side and when you do, you’ll feel rejuvenated and whole again. It won’t be easy. You’ll have to fight harder than you ever imagined, but if I can do it, anyone can. I know this because I am the worst case scenario.
Though you have misgivings about Hillary Clinton — and I get that — she deserves your vote. Clinton will safeguard our domestic and international policies. She will act in the best interests of Americans. She’s not a narcissist. She will build on Obama’s legacy.
I know what you’re thinking, this bitch is insane?! Who does she think she is?! What the hell does she know about me?! I don’t want to vote for Hillary!
Fair enough. You have every right to feel that way. I’m not insane. I am someone who has endured physical and emotional trauma from a narcissist, and for more years than I care to admit. I don’t know anything about you, aside from the fact that we both love a narcissist and that forever bonds us. I understand that you don’t want to vote for Hillary. Consider this, you’re not voting for Hillary, you’re voting against a narcissist and standing up to Trump and saying, “I AM NOT ON THIS EARTH FOR YOU TO ABUSE AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF! I AM MY OWN PERSON! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO MAKE ME FEEL BEHOLDEN TO YOU ONE MORE DAY! I BELIEVE IN MY COUNTRY! I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!”
Give it some thought and let’s discuss. You’re not alone.