Whether I’m in a conversation or happen to be eavesdropping, a favorite past time. If done correctly, it’s exceptional cardio. I’ve leaned so far that I’ve fallen out of chairse stretching my legs, neck and arms enough to pull muscles. I have noticed that everyone has a guy for a thing, whatever that thing is, […]
I was born Katie Schwartz. I know there others out there, thanks to Google and not being retarded. For years, I have been dying to talk to other Katie Schwartz’s to find out if we have any commonalities. I’m curious, okay?! Don’t you wonder if people who share your name also share your likes and […]
If you’ve been following my twitter stream, you know about the break in. If not, keep reading. Let me begin by saying, you know you’re an addict when You wake up at 4 AM and realize you’re out of fucking coffee. Your mind feverishly races. You curse yourself and everything else out. The desperation to […]
As we’ve discussed, blogs are one-part confessional and another part… well, whatever we want them to be, right? This would be the one-part confessional. 7-days into 2010, is akin to having my head shoved up geriatric, hemorrhoid addled, musty smelling rectums. Like a famished dog, I’m waiting for the moment when embracing the New Year […]
I broke up with J Crew, but we got back together. I’ve noticed that a lot of Born Agains are starting to follow me on Twitter. To be clear, I don’t mean Christians or Catholics, I mean Zealarellas (zealots). I’m wondering… What part of me screams save me? One broad told me that she loved […]
The non-sequitur post from hell. The emails I’ve received for the wrong KatieGirl@gmail.com are worth reporting: UPDATE: Received today 11/14 “I can’t poo any longer i thought my butt was stronger! but I need your help to tacke this deamen out! Juust stick your hand up there and move it everywhere until u u puulll […]
In the month of August, I got a record number of emails for another katiegirl@gmail.com. Shall we discuss them? Why yes, I think we should. Let’s begin with the 3 Onsies I purchased for the phantom baby I’m giving birth to in Hoboken, NJ. To be clear, I wouldn’t purchase this Onsie for my worst […]