A Royal Flangezam

A Royal Flangezam

gyno exam

I watched Barbara Walter’s special, “Bringing up Baby,” about the Royal loin-fruit-to-be because I was curious to see how over the top it would be, and it- superty was.

As I understood it, each royal vagina is assigned a royal gynecologist. I kept wondering about the introduction, exam and outcome. Did he bow? Was there chit-chat? Was security inside the room? Is a heated 24K gold, diamond studded speculum inserted into a royal vagina? is the royal flange doctor nervous about diagnosing a royal twat with a yeast infection? What if a royal vagina got royal herpes, what does that look like (from a diagnostic perspective)? If her highness farts, is it discussed? What about the finger-bang portion of the exam, when the OB fondles a broad’s innerds and ovaries to make sure one’s lady parts are in order, do royal hands wear standard issue surgical gloves, or…?  Does she fly transvaginental like the rest of her subjects?

Does she sit on a chair like this?

gyny chair

Topped off with crunchy white paper or silk linens? Non-sequitur… I wonder if royal vaginas use royal plugs or pads?

Moving the story along… Let’s assume, after pleasantries, her royal posture is like this?

gyno1

Before I write my imaginary conversation, how do you think it plays out?

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