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Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

  1. Why I Love Twitter, Reason #1,000

    May 27, 2011 by Katie Schwartz

    This week, like other weeks, I was tweeting my usual nonsense; Barbie murders, Gay Ken dolls, ethnic Barbies, Barbie heads placed ever so carefully in cartoons of eggs, quotes, political cartoons, a few articles, things via Dear Thyroid and, among other things, shit that’s on my mind for no particular reason. Fortunately, my gracious and lovely Twitter friends indulge me. Such peaches.

    Unbeknownst to me a new tweeter was in my horizon. At first, we bonded over a shared fear of the Blue Men. I added my fear of clowns and wind chimes. Hey, if we were going to discuss fears, I thought I’d highlight a few at the top of my list. It’s not like I cracked open the fear Rolodex.

    This was the foundation for our 3-day twitter-courtship. Without forewarning, today, this was our conversation:

    Him: You have a Facebook a number?

    ME: http://facebook.com/KatieSchwartz (To be clear, there is no #)

    Him: What do u look like??

    ME: Fat and ugly.

    HIM: dam ok…

    Right.


  2. In The Belly Of The Fail Whale Written by Rob Gokee

    May 29, 2010 by Katie Schwartz

    I met Rob Gokee on Twitter and fell in twitterlove with his tweets. Rob is funny – smart – talented – and such a mensch (good guy). He is a composer for films and television series. And, recently, an author. His first book In The Belly Of The Fail Whale, is a great, naked read (how apropos, considering he’s in boxers on the cover of his book).

    Writing memoirs, especially ones chronicling financial and emotional hardship is painful in itself – humorous, of course, because we can all relate. In Rob’s book, he addresses that and reminds us how small the world is, and how we can reclaim ourselves. His medium of discovery and reinvention happened to be Twitter over the course of a year.

    Whether you’re a social marketing novice or expert, or just a literary voyeur, reading about Rob’s journey, is tragic and uplifting, heartfelt and festive. And, funny. We love humor.

    After pleading with Rob to grant me an interview, he generously and graciously did. (Thank you, Rob Gokee. You and The Fail Whale are FABULOUS.)

    Meet Rob Gokee, Author of “In The Belly Of The Fail Whale”.

    Tell me about you. What do you do for a living?

    I’m a composer for film, television & webseries, a writer/author, and a social media strategist.  Although those three things are very different, they tie together with common threads and all make up who I am, what I do & why I do it.

    Where are you from and where do you live?

    I was born and raised in Southern California just outside Pasadena. Not long after graduating high school, I moved to Denver for a few years, and enjoyed living somewhere that had a real winter. Now I never want to see snow again.  I moved to Albuquerque to attend the University Of New Mexico, and then came back to Southern California.  I currently reside in Long Beach.

    When you’re not writing or composing, what are you doing?

    There are other things? Honestly, most of my awake life is devoted to one or the other, or marketing myself as both. I love working, and I love everything I do, so I don’t mind spending 16 hours a day doing it.  Fortunately, my girlfriend is the same way, so we work well together.  When we do break, we like bike riding, reading, socializing with friends in & around LA, and occasionally sleeping.

    What made you write The Fail Whale Book?

    The book came from a place where I had begun to realize the impact Twitter had on my personal & professional life, and I felt this need to share it with people who didn’t “get it,” and thought it was a waste of time, whether they were trying to market their business or just meeting new friends.  It was also an excuse to take my pants off for the cover of a book.

    Is FWB a memoir?

    It is very much a snapshot of 1 year in my life, a turbulent year, and how Twitter played a role in the changes that occurred, both good and bad.  In a way, the horrible breakup went through was because of Twitter.  It indirectly played a role in the relationship’s demise, and it also played a role in meeting the most influential person I’ve ever met in my life.

    Would you say that FWB is a humor book or would you say it’s a humor SM book (SM as in social media, har)?

    That’s a good question, one I struggled with as I was trying to categorize the book myself. It’s a Humor Social Media book, because the point of the book is to show the reader how Twitter can work if you use it the right way.  And the way I get there is by telling the story of my life humorously.  Which, coincidentally, includes some S&M too.

    What was the turning point in your life; the impetus that lead to writing it?

    That would be giving away the book. Tsk Tsk.  I will say that the idea to write it came during some down time while I was waiting for 4 or 5 scoring projects to start.  Which they did, the second I announced to the world that I was writing a book.  Trying to do both at once was interesting. And by “interesting” I mean “insane.”  I wrote music during the day and wrote the book at night.

    What made you log onto Twitter and create an account?

    I joined in the summer of 2008 and then quit. I didn’t get it.  Then I read an article in PC Monthly in Oct 2008 that talked about how Twitter could be used as a marketing tool, and I was looking for something to replace MySpace, so I jumped on board. It still took me 6 months of tweeting to “get it.”

    Do you remember your first tweet?

    “Giving Twitter a second chance:) ” I actually include random tweets from my stream in the book; they help tell my story and show you just how fearless I am about opening myself up on Twitter.  There really isn’t anything I won’t tweet about.

    Do you remember your first follower?

    Hmm. You know what? I don’t. I know that I can check by going all the way back to Page 1 of my Following/Follower list, but that would take hours to do.  In fact, thanks a lot for bringing it up, now it’s going to bug me that I don’t know.  It’s possible that that person has moved on from me too; that happens on Twitter like in life.  People come and go in your stream, but that’s OK because it’s exciting to me that the opportunity to meet new people happens daily.

    How did Twitter reshape your life?

    Twitter helped me realize the power of connection. Think of Twitter like a large brain, and we’re all “connected.” In the brain, thoughts are connected by dendrites, or “wires.” If you look at the people you connect with on Twitter, then introduce yourself to their connections, you’re suddenly interacting with more and more people and increasing your network.  The more people you get to know, the more your network expands, and the more opportunities you have at life-changing experiences and relationships.

    From when you wrote the book to present day, how has your life changed?

    If you look at my life like a graph chart, from the time the book was finished until now has been a steady incline at about the same rate it increased during the writing process.  The biggest changes that occurred in my life came before I wrote the book, but are the reason I wrote it in the first place.

    I ask everyone this, what is your favorite curse word and why?

    I really like “Fuck.”  It’s so primal and multi-faceted.  I use it when I’m angry or frustrated, surprised, or to describe sex.  I think it’s silly that people are afraid of it; I use it in my Twitter stream without hesitation, but only when I actually mean it.

    Rob Gokee  Upcoming Events – Solo Premiere Party @RobGokee @FailWhaleBook

    Rob Gokee
    Author/Composer
    (310) 876-2174
    www.failwhalebook.com
    www.robgokeemusic.com
    Twitter @robgokee


  3. No Shortage Of Stuffing Pie Hole Here, Metaphorically Speaking

    November 28, 2009 by Katie Schwartz

    I broke up with J Crew, but we got back together.

    I’ve noticed that a lot of Born Agains are starting to follow me on Twitter. To be clear, I don’t mean Christians or Catholics, I mean Zealarellas (zealots). I’m wondering… What part of me screams save me?

    One broad told me that she loved everyone. Shocked, I asked everyone, I mean, every single person?! Yes, everyone, and with conviction. In 140 characters, I couldn’t go into detail, so I will here. While I think it’s a lovely, altruistic notion to love everyone, in my mind, it’s literally impossible.

    I don’t love George Bush or what he did to this country and I think he should be tried for war crimes, along with his sick fuck side kick, Dick Cheney and Donald bottoming-for-Bush-and-loving-it Rumsfeld, et al. I don’t love the people cock blocking Universal Health Care from passing. They’re willing to spend our tax dollars on weapons, but not our health?! Can you spell fucktardsquared?! I don’t love hard core republicans. In fact, I hate what they stand for. I don’t love doctors who mistreat their patients and lie to them. I don’t love insurance companies — I hate them. I don’t love murderers, pedophiles, or rapists. I don’t love assholics. I don’t love people who embrace censorship and who want the government to determine what’s appropriate for me to view, listen to, and read. I don’t love people who want to infringe on my choice to have an abortion. My list is endless and I won’t bore you with it, but you get the gist of what I’m saying. I think love is a gift. I couldn’t love everyone, not because I’m a hate junky. It’s simply unrealistic.

    Another person told me that if I didn’t follow him back, I wouldn’t be saved from Armageddon. If I don’t believe in Armageddon, how will his 140 character tweets save me? What am I missing? Oh, did I mention that I’m a Jew? Aren’t we the chosen ones at the minute, the gateway or something? I can’t remember. I’ll have to email The Postal Service of the Saved for clarification.

    Someone else assured me that it wasn’t too late to be Born Again. Thanks. But, I’m willing to take my chances, I said.

    Why can’t I be a Jew? Perhaps that’s the issue I have with this lot of followers, intolerance and a lack of regard for my beliefs. Everything is cloaked in a threat, if you don’t, than you won’t. I digress… I intolerance.

    Now, let’s discuss the rectal warfare that took place in my intestines last Friday morning. My intestines weren’t arguing, they were waging “Shock and Awe”, careening towards my pucker pellet at the speed of light. I still can’t figure out why or what I ate that made my intestines have a, yes I’m going to go 80′s on your ass, COW. Everything came out just dandy, thanks for asking. Though, for a moment I thought that my intestines were going to fly out of my tuchas. Fortunately, we’re still together.

    Friday, I was at Cedars for blood work and there was no fucking parking. One of the lots closed due to construction. I have never seen so many cars trying to get into parking lots in my life. LA drivers don’t give a shit about who is behind them. They stop in the middle of the road, la-de-da’ng on the phone or talking to someone on the sidewalk, even though you’re behind them with ten other shmucks. Please, in NY, in less than a minute, baseball bats would be smashing these cars.

    After 30 minutes, I was ready to shoot myself (that would’ve cost a bundle, so I passed). Mind you, it only took me 10 minutes to get there. I finally found a lot that I was able to squeeze into, though it was a valet lot, I was Despy Desperalla and her twin sister Tranta Gavant.

    This super homeless guy, like scale of 1-10, definitely a 10 on the homelessesque scale, approaches me and says, “I’ll take your car.”

    Right. Cause I’m stupid.

    Meanwhile, there’s a guy in the booth at the valet stand, wearing a white shirt with the name of the p-lot co. on it and I was trying to get his attention. Homeless guy says, “What? You don’t trust me? Give me your car!”

    I kindly asked him to unzip his jacket and show me his shirt. If it was the same as the guy’s standing in the booth, great, I would’ve given him my car. Most valets don’t sit on the ground with their dressers duffel bags.

    He says, “Why I gotta unzip my jacket? I wouldn’t ask you to take your shirt off.”

    Um. Okay, let’s review. I’m now late for my blood draw. I need to get it done. I’ve been driving in circles for 30 minutes with shitty drivers who want to be FIRST, FIRST, FIRST. I’m profoundly irritated.

    “In this situation, I believe I’m entitled to ask to see your shirt before I hand you the keys to my car.” I said.

    He responds by saying “You don’t trust me because I’m black. You’re a racist.”

    I was so fucking angry at this point, I got out of my car and screamed, “HEY, I HAVE SYSTEMIC TRUST ISSUES. IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, CALL MY PSYCHIATRIST AND ASK HIM. YOU THINK YOUR FUCKING RACE OR GENDER MATTERS TO ME? YOU COULD BE A PURPLE, HERMAPHRODITE GNOME AND I STILL WOULDN’T TRUST YOU.”

    Cedars security came out, and instead of asking what the problem was, he exacerbated the issue by telling us to take it elsewhere. Seriously, hospital-mall-cop?!

    I ended up at another lot because I bribed the gatekeeper with a $20 to get me in.

    You’d think I was trying to get into some hot restaurant, not that a $20 would cut it, but you get where this is going, right? Right.

    Caitlin will not stop emailing me. All week, I’ve been receiving emails from her:

    Hi!

    and

    Hey, I analyzed the name ‘caitlin’ using the iPhone Name Analyzer.

    It means:

    Cute

    Awesome

    Inspirational

    Tipsy

    Lovely

    Imperfect

    Naughty

    Seriously?! This improves the quality of my life?

    Someone signed me up for Millsberry.com as Justice4Ever. I can create my own buddy and join the city. The site is for tweeners at best, so of course I’m a perfect fit. I’m sure they’d welcome Justice4Ever calling CutsieTeenyTot snatch for moving into my crib and boosting my gluten free pretzels.

    This concludes my rant fest.

    If you haven’t read @SoyGoy‘s interview, check it out. Coming up next, Elissa Stein and her new book FLOW, followed by, In The Belly Of The Fail Whale. I’m plotzarella.