Tag: political satire

Recent Posts

Recent Work for 2017

recent work 2017 political essays, humor essays by katie schwartzRecent work includes a lot of political essays at Mock Paper Scissors and Huffington Post. Recent humor essays can be found via The American Bystander, a quarterly print magazine that every comedy nerd should buy ASAPY.

Mock Paper Scissors/Huffington Post

The American Bystander

I’m in pre-production on comedy shorts and pilots. I will spill as these projects evolve.

Really Frump Trump?!

Via the NY Daily News with my commentary in burgundy…

Trump is not running yet – but sounding an awful lot like a candidate

BY GLENN BLAIN

Donald Trump told an Albany radio station this morning that he’d make a decision about running for president before June – but that didn’t stop him from ripping into President Obama’s speech yesterday and declaring that United States had become a “joke throughout the world.” Yet his wildly inappropriate comb over isn’t a worldwide joke. If Frump is president, residing in Washington; monuments will be replaced with overly priced hotels and golf courses. In fact, Washington will become Washvegas.

“I look at the country. It’s never been worse,” Trump said on Albany’s Talk 1300. “It’s run at a level that I’ve never seen anything like it. This is Jimmy Carter-esqe. I’m very seriously considering it and I’ll make my decision sometime prior to June.” He has nerve he hasn’t used yet. Aside from the greatness of Clinton, we have another fantastic president who is actually looking out for ‘we the people”. Frumpage, you’re not making enough of a killing with your existing ventures? Feeling blue about increased taxes? Feeling anguish about seeing a new middle class? Worried a part of your obscene pie will go to – dare I say — people in need?!

Trump called Obama’s speech “big government or socialism if you take it a step further.” Sweet! Frump wears ignorance as well as Snewty GingRICH.

Trump also confirmed that he will attend a Tea Party rally in Florida this weekend and said he expects thousands of people to show up.  Unfortunately, they won’t say “You’re FIRED”. That would take brass left wing balls. Us! Trump aligning with the racist, republican, zealot tea baggers – we’re so shocked. Someone is a secret Smell Fibson (meets) Shmeckle Dickards (meets) Beef Groyant.

“I’m big fan of the Tea Party because I really think they’ve provided a great service,” he said. “It made people understand what is going on. It made people open their eyes.” Hi. Over here. YOU’RE STUPID.

The real estate mogul and television star boasted that he’s the one candidate Obama supporters fear the most because “I tell it like it is.” If he doesn’t know what IT is, so how can he tell IT what IT is, to begin with?!

Trump said that as time has gone by he’s gotten more comfortable with the idea of running for president and believes it is crucial that “the right guy” get elected. Yes, it is crucial that the right guy get elected.

“This is not easy and it’s not necessarily fun, but somebody has to take the bull by the horns,” he said. “This country is in bad shape. We’re laughed at. We’re scoffed at. We’re a joke throughout the world.” He’s joking, right? He’s having a ball. This is his fun. He’s as internationally savvy as Palin. If he wasn’t, he’d know that we’re FINALLY not a joke.

Trump said he wants to run as a Republican but did not rule out running as an independent further down the road. I wonder if he’ll run with Ross Perot. As much as I adore Cher and I do, she was a staunch Peerot advocate. I’m sure if there isn’t a slot for her on “Celebrity Apprentice”, she can sing their way into Guantanamo Bay. Fresh water for everyone!

While Trump panned President Obama, he did offer praise for another Democrat: Gov. Andrew Cuomo. No. For reals?!

“I think he is doing terrific job, setting a great example,” Trump said of Cuomo. “He’s doing it with style and with class and I’m very proud of him. I think he is doing a great job.” All of which Frumpski doesn’t possess. Let’s hope that he takes a cue from Cuomo and calls it quits.

If he does run, the jokes will be magnificent. If he wins, I’ll do the drama diva swan dive off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Top 5 Things We LOVE About Sarah Palin

 

  1. Palin is comedic gold. No platinum.
  2. Palin’s stupidity is so epic, she makes G’Bush Joon appear as if he’s got an 1/8 of a brain.
  3. Palin’s children’s names are as nonsensical as her performances: Track (and field), Bristol (in the UK, which I highly doubt Palin knows the whereabouts of), Willow (tree), (pied) Piper, Trig (onometry)
  4. Speaking of Trig, I am convinced he is the love child of Sarah, Bristol and O’Reilly.
  5. I see a new iPhone app – Flinging Midgets at animated Sarah Palin’s being a HUGE success.