Be My Posthumous Friend
Thank you, Monkeybicycle for publishing my latest essay, Be my Posthumous Friend. How often do you get friend requests on Facebook and Twitter from dead people?
Transvadge Apocalypose
One of my favorite literary publications, Monkeybicycle has granted me the opportunity to write a new essay series about the surreal happenings in my oddly wonderful life. Please give “Transvadge Apocalypse” a read. Be sure to check out Monkeybicycle’s other writers, books and podcast. Thank you, MB, I heart you so much!
Rescue Me
Rescuers treat pure breed owners like it’s a crime to buy versus save. Hello — allergies, and fuck me for not wanting some neurotic, skittish, was tied to a tree for a month, canine that pees on you every time you pet him and shits on the floor when you make eye contact. “We don’t know how old […]
Fiction Handicap Dating
I despise, loathe and abhor the creepy chick syndrome game, “What if your fictitious husband loses a limb, goes blind, goes deaf, develops an allergy to pussy or winds up in a wheelchair?” This is how I want to spend my evening, pondering acceptable handicaps my non-husband may or may not get?! It’s a no-win situation; in […]
Fertility Of Mind
I’m in my mid-late thirties. Throughout my life, when asked if I wanted to have kids, my response was “I think so. I don’t know. Maybe. I’m still on the fence. Though not much has changed, the latter has been, and still is, my default answer. Adoption has always been on the table as a […]