Katie Schwartz - Comedy Writer. Founder Dear Thyroid. Knitter. Vintage Tchoch Collector. Guilt Enthusiast

Doable Fetishes And Fetish Boundaries

June 21, 2010

Doable Fetishes And Fetish Boundaries

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After perusing a list of fetishes, anything from amputation, to insects crawling through and around one’s genitalia, necrophilia, and furies, among others, it all seemed so banal. What fetishfest would be complete without comes with tchoch?! Not that I’m a fetishxpert.

I just think the fetish community might want to consider some new fetishes to add to the list. So, I decided to suggest a few.

  • Allergies – Embrace a dame with a penchant for repetitious sneezing at the most inopportune times. Though she’ll tank in the blowjob department during a sneeze-fest, why can’t snot be hot?
  • Harkin’ and Shmarkin – An addendum to the allergy fetish, to include, but not limited to, belching and farting. Note: This is not a feces crossover. If a girl’s belches and farts carry a tune, and if you’re a musician, this could really help in the creative department. You can whip out some snazzy classical tunes, and thank her with a with a burp-fart-infused-Bach fuck.
  • Politics – Engaging sexually with someone who doesn’t share your political views leads to hostile, aggressive sex. Filthy language can include: BP is a pack of mother fucking liars that lack any sense of responsibility for their actions. Or, if you actually believe Sarah Palin has a positive impact on this country, women’s rights, and is intelligent, masturbate in a corner wearing a dunce cap.
  • The Happy Homo Fetish – If you’re attracted to him, of course he’s gay. If you’re not, give him your number, even if he does resemble Quasimodo, and has the brains of an Alaskan sea fisherman.

What are your fetishes? Come on, don’t be shy…

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In The Belly of The Fail Whale

May 29, 2010

In The Belly Of The Fail Whale Written by Rob Gokee

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I met Rob Gokee on Twitter and fell in twitterlove with his tweets. Rob is funny – smart – talented – and such a mensch (good guy). He is a composer for films and television series. And, recently, an author. His first book “In The Belly Of The Fail Whale”, is a great, naked read (how apropos, considering he’s in boxers on the cover of his book).

Writing memoirs, especially ones chronicling financial and emotional hardship is painful in itself – humorous, of course, because we can all relate. In Rob’s book, he addresses that and reminds us how small the world is, and how we can reclaim ourselves. His medium of discovery and reinvention happened to be Twitter over the course of a year.

Whether you’re a social marketing novice or expert, or just a literary voyeur, reading about Rob’s journey, is tragic and uplifting, heartfelt and festive. And, funny. We love humor.

After pleading with Rob to grant me an interview, he generously and graciously did. (Thank you, Rob Gokee. You and The Fail Whale are FABULOUS.)

Meet Rob Gokee, Author of “In The Belly Of The Fail Whale”.

Tell me about you. What do you do for a living?

I’m a composer for film, television & webseries, a writer/author, and a social media strategist.  Although those three things are very different, they tie together with common threads and all make up who I am, what I do & why I do it.

Where are you from and where do you live?

I was born and raised in Southern California just outside Pasadena.  Not long after graduating high school, I moved to Denver for a few years, and enjoyed living somewhere that had a real winter.  Now I never want to see snow again.  I moved to Albuquerque to attend the University Of New Mexico, and then came back to Southern California.  I currently reside in Long Beach.

When you’re not writing or composing, what are you doing?

There are other things?  Honestly, most of my awake life is devoted to one or the other, or marketing myself as both.  I love working, and I love everything I do, so I don’t mind spending 16 hours a day doing it.  Fortunately, my girlfriend is the same way, so we work well together.  When we do break, we like bike riding, reading, socializing with friends in & around LA, and occasionally sleeping.

What made you write The Fail Whale Book?

The book came from a place where I had begun to realize the impact Twitter had on my personal & professional life, and I felt this need to share it with people who didn’t “get it,” and thought it was a waste of time, whether they were trying to market their business or just meeting new friends.  It was also an excuse to take my pants off for the cover of a book.

Is FWB a memoir?

It is very much a snapshot of 1 year in my life, a turbulent year, and how Twitter played a role in the changes that occurred, both good and bad.  In a way, the horrible breakup went through was because of Twitter.  It indirectly played a role in the relationship’s demise, and it also played a role in meeting the most influential person I’ve ever met in my life.

Would you say that FWB is a humor book or would you say it’s a humor SM book (SM as in social media, har)?

That’s a good question, one I struggled with as I was trying to categorize the book myself.  It’s a Humor Social Media book, because the point of the book is to show the reader how Twitter can work if you use it the right way.  And the way I get there is by telling the story of my life humorously.  Which, coincidentally, includes some S&M too.

What was the turning point in your life; the impetus that lead to writing it?

That would be giving away the book. Tsk Tsk.  I will say that the idea to write it came during some down time while I was waiting for 4 or 5 scoring projects to start.  Which they did, the second I announced to the world that I was writing a book.  Trying to do both at once was interesting.  And by “interesting” I mean “insane.”  I wrote music during the day and wrote the book at night.

What made you log onto Twitter and create an account?

I joined in the summer of 2008 and then quit.  I didn’t get it.  Then I read an article in PC Monthly in Oct 2008 that talked about how Twitter could be used as a marketing tool, and I was looking for something to replace MySpace, so I jumped on board. It still took me 6 months of tweeting to “get it.”

Do you remember your first tweet?

“Giving Twitter a second chance:) ”  I actually include random tweets from my stream in the book; they help tell my story and show you just how fearless I am about opening myself up on Twitter.  There really isn’t anything I won’t tweet about.

Do you remember your first follower?

Hmm.  You know what?  I don’t.  I know that I can check by going all the way back to Page 1 of my Following/Follower list, but that would take hours to do.  In fact, thanks a lot for bringing it up, now it’s going to bug me that I don’t know.  It’s possible that that person has moved on from me too; that happens on Twitter like in life.  People come and go in your stream, but that’s OK because it’s exciting to me that the opportunity to meet new people happens daily.

How did Twitter reshape your life?

Twitter helped me realize the power of connection.  Think of Twitter like a large brain, and we’re all “connected.” In the brain, thoughts are connected by dendrites, or “wires.”  If you look at the people you connect with on Twitter, then introduce yourself to their connections, you’re suddenly interacting with more and more people and increasing your network.  The more people you get to know, the more your network expands, and the more opportunities you have at life-changing experiences and relationships.

From when you wrote the book to present day, how has your life changed?

If you look at my life like a graph chart, from the time the book was finished until now has been a steady incline at about the same rate it increased during the writing process.  The biggest changes that occurred in my life came before I wrote the book, but are the reason I wrote it in the first place.

I ask everyone this, what is your favorite curse word and why?

I really like “Fuck.”  It’s so primal and multi-faceted.  I use it when I’m angry or frustrated, surprised, or to describe sex.  I think it’s silly that people are afraid of it; I use it in my Twitter stream without hesitation, but only when I actually mean it.

Rob Gokee – Upcoming Events –  Solo Premiere Party @RobGokee @FailWhaleBook

Rob Gokee
Author/Composer
(310) 876-2174
www.failwhalebook.com
www.robgokeemusic.com
Twitter @robgokee

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Southern California Congress

May 20, 2010

Southern California Voters, Have You Considered Voting For Shawn Stern

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Though Facebook can be irky irksome and his twin sister irkarella, we remain addicted to it, just like Twitter. Right? Right.

Because we’re not all new, we know there’s an election right around the corner. Shawn Stern is running for congress in:

  1. Casmalia
  2. Camarillo
  3. Fillmore
  4. Lompoc Valley Los Alamos
  5. Newbury Park
  6. Oak Park
  7. Ojai Orcutt
  8. Piru
  9. Santa Paula
  10. Santa Ynez Valley Simi Valley
  11. Thousand Oaks
  12. Ventura
  13. Un-Incorporated Santa Maria

Shawn left a note on my wall regarding his campaign, so, of course I emailed him with a list of questions – if he wanted my vote, I needed to ask about things that were important to me. And, so I did. He emailed me back. Now, that’s awesome. How many politicians do you know that send you canned responses versus a hand written response? More importantly, I appreciated his answers – they seemed on the level (love that vinty expression).

This was our dish session:

Hi Shawn;

Thanks for your time. You emailed me along with a few other folks regarding recommending you to our friends. I’d consider doing that. I just have a few questions.

I read your website, and I’m not 100% clear on your political position, perhaps you can lend some clarity? Thanks so much.

1) Are you a democrat or a republican?
2) What is your posture on Gay Marriage
3) What is your posture on Freedom of Speech
4) What is your posture on Censorship?
5) What is your posture on Stem Cell Research?
6) What is your posture on a woman’s right to choice?

Thank you so much,
Katie

This is what Shawn Emailed me back:

Shawn Stern May 14 at 4:40pm

Hi Katie,
Thank you for the questions. I’ll try to be as concise as possible.

1) I am a Democrat
2) I believe EVERYONE has the right to be married
3) ALL of our Constitutional rights must be protected. I don’t believe in cherry picking them.
4) Parents should be the censors
5) Stem Cell research will save many lives. I believe scientific progress should be encouraged not hindered.
6) I believe individuals have the FINAL word on what happens to our own bodies. Again, I don’t cherry pick the Constitution.

Hopes this helps, and please tell anyone and everyone you can about the campaign. Without the fundraising I need all of the word of mouth in the next 20 days I can get. So far I am leading at the polls so I guess people really do want someone in congress fighting for them NOT special interest groups and lobbyists.

Please feel free to ask me more questions @
www.askshawnstern.com

Warmest,
Shawn Stern
Democratic Candidate

CA’s 24th Congressional District

ACCESSIBLE, ACTIVE, ACCOUNTABLE

Personally, I LOVED his answers. I live in Los Angeles. I’d love to vote for him. How about you? If you’re a Southern California Poli Blogger, consider blogging about this bloke – Check him out – Hit his websites – Follow him on Facebook. I think he might very well be the real deal. We sure could use as much of that in government as possible @JustAin’tRight and @ MockPaperScissors, check him out too, please.

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