Happy Holidays

hearse ornament

Theoretically, I love the holidays… in a 30 second commercial.

A few years ago when I WASN’T invited to a stranger’s funeral, I went. Everyone was so – – well – – emotionally predictable. No manic outbursts, arguing, or threats of cutting anything illegal. Everyone’s temperament was unpretentiously grief-stricken.

We weren’t attending a reading of the Will, so nobody complained about what they didn’t get.

I didn’t have to schlep to a store I hate for a gift I didn’t want to buy.

Instead of being forced to exchange pleasantries, I had a word with the guy in the box; his ear beckoned with no desire to reciprocate.

Needless worrying about what to wear was kyboshed. One sweep of my closet revealed that I lived in “funeral” attire.

Happy Holidays…

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