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Soiled Forever: Kissing Boys Is Like Sex Before Marriage
May 14, 2010 by Katie Schwartz
Category Religious Satire | Tags:
Yes ladies, wait for the dude who has never kissed anyone, male or female. I’m sure you and bubble boy will have some fumbly good times but the Lord will be happy and the creepy daddy in the clip will be just fn thrilled!
Doc – How wrong is this video? I am seriously on the floor. I can’t stop watching. Those HAIR DON’Ts are from hell. They all have hat head. The shame. Loved it.
I’m not sure what I love the most in this… the horrible editing, the outfits (not that I EVER dressed that way *cough*), the fact she talks to her Dad about sex (ewewewewew) or that her dad looks like he likes prison movies.
I really waited for someone to say, “I haven’t kissed anyone, but, I’ve pretty much boinked the entire football team!!”
I’m screaming, too. What circa is that hair from? Aside from the obvious answer – hell?
Can you imagine buying man meat before taking him out for a spin? I would shoot myself.
How do you like the horror of blondey making out with her boyfriend?!
of course, she got the hot beef injection from behind before marriage — no kissing, however.
OR
of course, daddy doesn’t want her kissing any boys — she should stick to kissing men, like him.
that dad is cliff robertson’s psycho twin.
it makes me think of the pheobe cates teaching jennifer jason leigh how to give a blowjob in “fast times.” now that’s high school, goddamnit!
“Do you want a man that has saved all his love for you? One who has never even kissed a woman…”
Hold that thought for a minute, Bob Hairspray. Ladies, the next time you get on a passenger plane, ask yourself this; would you want a pilot who has never so much as sat in a cockpit, let alone flown a plane?
So when Quasimodo comes calling, remember, he has saved all that love, just for you. Oh, and don’t forget the hump on his back, he’s saved that too.
Totally agreed, Book Fraud. He is cliff robertson’s psycho twin.
I’m thinking that if kissing is off limits, maybe fingerbanging and blowjobs are acceptable. What do you think? They only said it was inappropriate to kiss, which means you can fuck until the cows come home. And touch each other where your bathing suit covers AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL DAY LONG.
Like you, I think her pops is swingin’ some sausage her way.
CORMAC – EVERY TIME YOU LEAVE A COMMENT, I SCREAM. I SHAKE AND LAUGH SO HARD FROM YOU, THAT THE ENTIRE TABLE JIGGLES. Shame salad or what?!
Love the pilot metaphor. Ha.
; D
O love the new look and I will overlook the fact that my blog is no longer the first and only thing that can be seen on your blog even though we both know that I am almost as good loooking as vander slooth or whatever his fuckn name was and I am twice the killer he ever was!
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